Meeting Jessica

Jessica Liversidge was just 18 years old when she laid down to sleep in the early hours of Sunday morning, October 23rd. She never woke up. She was my niece through marriage, the only child of my wife Debbie's sister, Vickie, and Vickie's husband Joe.

I had only seen Jess in person twice since she was a very little girl, both times in her pre-teen years. Once their family visited our home in the Somerton section of Philadelphia. Another was at the funeral for her maternal blood grandmother, Alma Marshall, Debbie and Vickie's mother by birth.

I say "by birth" because the whole family relationship story is kind of unique, reminiscent of an "Oprah" episode where family members who were long estranged or never knew about one another are suddenly united or reunited.
Alma had 4-5 children already when she discovered that she was pregnant with Vickie.

This was the early 1950's, still the post-World War II years, and times were tough in the household. Knowing she was carrying a life inside of her, but believing they could not afford another child, she and her husband Bob decided to give Vickie up for adoption.

Incredibly, it turned out that Alma still wasn't done with mothering. About two years later, my wife Debbie came along, and the couple decided that it must be God's will to keep expanding their family. They kept Debbie, and even ended up adding two more children to their family after that.

Vickie was adopted by what all accounts seem to indicate was a wonderful couple who raised her in the area in and around Downingtown, Pennsylvania, about 40 miles to the west of the Marshall home on Huntingdon Street in Philly.

Thanks Mom?

My mother was a very good woman, of that I am as certain as anything I have ever known in this life.

She loved God, loved her family, and despite being overwhelmed by a debilitating illness that robbed her of much of her life's full enjoyment, she never ceased to express that love to either.

My mom mattered. She mattered in my life, the life of my brother, the lives of my children, and the lives of a great number of other friends and family members. She touched us all in a way that will always be with us.

But for as much as she was to everyone else, what she was to my brother Mike and I was extra special. But did she choose life for us? Roe did not exist then, should it have, should we have been her 'choice'?

This is an important idea to discuss, as yesterday was the awful anniversary of the 'Roe v Wade' court decision that made abortion a legal medical procedure here in the United States. What 'Roe' effectively did was lead to the mass slaughter of more than 50 million American babies over the next three and a half decades.

Supporters of that decision would argue that had 'Roe' been in effect in 1961, my birth would not have been the miracle from God that it was considered at that time, but instead it would have been a medical 'choice' made by my mom. And it would have been a 'choice' that she could make regardless of what my dad wanted.

Of course her 'choosing' to nurture and birth me out into the world should probably be something that would make me happy, right? What is better, to be considered just some random accident of nature, or something forced on her by God, or a conscious choice made by one's mother or parents together?

Thank You, God

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who takes the time to read these thoughts of mine. Anyone who cares enough about the way you think and express yourself to actually use some of their valuable time to bother reading is certainly worth thanking.

There are many others in my life for whom I am thankful that they are a part. There are many things, situations, events, objects, opportunities for which I am particularly thankful this year. But there is one above all others to whom I am grateful for providing the blessings of all those others in my life.

Thank you, God.

Thank you for the wife whom you directed into my life more than 17 years ago. Thank you for providing to her the gifts that have enabled her to grow with me, forgive me, love me. Thank you particularly for the gift of the time we've spent together all these years. Most particularly, for bringing us together in an understanding and acceptance of faith in your son, Jesus Christ.

Thank you for my daughters and my grandchildren. They have provided incredible love, color, and depth to the experiences of my lifetime. Thank you for all they have taught me and brought me, more than they probably know or could understand. Thank you for the gift of continuing to enjoy them as they all grow and mature, and I will continue to offer special prayers for their increased spiritual growth.

Thank you for this home that you have provided for my wife and I, and for the opportunities that we have had over the years to improve and secure it for ourselves. Thank you for the enjoyment of our family and friends here, some as their home, some as regular visitors, some as infrequent guests. All as welcome today as they have ever been at any time previously.

Reflections on the Fourth

Over this past weekend our country celebrated it's 233rd birthday. We the people of the United States of America celebrated in a variety of ways.

Many flocked to the beaches along our coastlines. Even more celebrated with family or community barbecue cookouts during the day, followed by fireworks displays at night. Our family was no different.

No matter how we celebrated the day, the vast majority of Americans did indeed celebrate in some way. The reasons that we celebrated were many. Some would say that for many, like Christmas, the true meaning of Independence Day has become lost on most people. I don't believe that is so.

As most Americans know and celebrate, Independence Day (or the 'Fourth of July') celebrates that date that the young American colonies declared their independence from the British crown back in 1776. Thus the massive display of the American flag, and of people incorporating the American colors of red, white, and blue into their wardrobes this weekend.

John Adams himself declared: "The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."

He was off by two days in that letter, written to his wife on July 3rd, 1776, the reason being that Congress debated and revised the original Declaration of Independence after approving it a day earlier. The final version famously lists the July 4th ratification date. The actual signing of the Declaration, famously highlighted by John Hancock's gorgeous signature, happened on August 2nd, 1776.

Splitting Up for the Kids Sake is a Lie

'John and Kate Plus Eight' are now apparently going to be just 'Kate Plus Eight', with John seeing the kids once in awhile, or taking them every other weekend, or having joint custody, or some other arrangement such as the beginning one where the kids will stay in the house, and John and Kate will take turns living there.

What is not going to happen is having these eight innocent little kids growing up in their home together with two loving parents who also care about one another.

That is not only a shame, but it is also to the little tykes detriment. Problems for the children of broken homes are many and well-documented.

But in their case it is not a detriment, not if you ask John and Kate themselves. In a public statement, they claimed that one of the reasons they are divorcing is actually FOR the kiddies benefit, because it "is not healthy for the kids to grow up around all the fighting and arguing."

This is a very lame argument indeed. Kids have grown up with parents arguing and fighting for millenia. I would bet that Adam and Eve themselves had some real donneybrooks after the whole 'snake and apple' fiasco, and it has been going on ever since.

People need to start returning to our grandparents day, when you married for life, and you toughed out the ups and downs. The bottom line in those relationships was simple: family first.

Saturday in the Park

On Saturday, April 18th, 2009, Pop & Mom-Mom got a full day at Boyle Playground up in Somerton with Rez and Elysia with Aunt Kel helping enjoy the day as well. Swings and slides on this gorgeous spring afternoon!

Reznor Visits in March 2009

Reznor puts on a little bit of a show in a March 2009 visit to Pop and Mom-mom's home in Somerton. Grandfather, Aunt Di and Meghan were over for the visit too. Rez shows off his developing leg muscles, not quite ready to stand up yet. Then he and Aunt Kel put on a bit of a music show.

Rez & Elysia: February 2009

Reznor and Elysia visit at Pop and Mom-Mom Debbie's home with their parents, Chrissy Veasey and Bill Lloyd, on Saturday afternoon February 7th, 2009.

Babies are Always a Blessing

Christine Veasey at The Vet, September 1980

Yesterday was a very 'baby' day in my life. I was surrounded by them almost everywhere that I went. After going to Sunday Mass we headed down I-95 and across the Walt Whitman Bridge, over to Williamstown, New Jersey and a visit with some of my wife Deb's family.

Her sister, Arlene Clegg, has lived in South Jersey for over a decade now, and she and her family are pretty close with ours. We spend a lot of good times together, from holidays to road trips to simple family gatherings.

We used to live less than a block from one another in the 'old neighborhood' on Huntingdon Street, Leen's husband Jim and I used to play ball both with and against one another in younger days, and Deb was in the room for the birth of both of Leen's kids, daughter Cheri and son Jim. Growing up they were close at different times with my own daughters, Christine, Kelly, and Melissa.

As yesterday proved, those days of us being simply the parents, and them being simply the kids, are now officially over. At Leen's house yesterday we visited not only with the folks already mentioned, but with some new members of the family.

Both Cheri (son Jake) and Jimmy (son Ayden) have had babies within the past two months. Well, actually Jimmy's girlfriend Regina had the baby, but you get the idea. Two new babies to visit at one sitting.

Cheri also had a daughter, Danica, born just under two years ago, so now she has two in diapers. Been there, done that. The babies look great, as most all babies do, and seemed to be pretty healthy, so thank God for that.

End of the Holidays 2008

A quick peak inside Deb and Matt's living room and dining room all decorated for Christmas as the 2008 holiday season winds down on Larkspur Street. Deb and Petey relax as New Year's Day 2009 draws to a close.

Elysia at Disney on Ice

Elysia goes to 'Disney on Ice' with Mom-Mom and Pop at the Wachovia Center over the Christmas break in late December 2008. Here we are getting settled in for the big show...

Reznor Christmas 2008

Pop and Mom-Mom Debbie visit with 'The Rez' at his place on Christmas Day 2008

Aunt Debbie Meets Ayden

Deb meets and holds nephew Ayden James Clegg for the first time. Ayden is the grandson of Deb's sister Arlene. Also featured around the table are Arlene, her daughter Cheri Harvey, and Arlene's mother-in-law Cass Clegg who is Ayden's great-grandmom.

Santa, Frosty, and Rudolph

Tonight is one of the most holy nights of the year. As we move from today's Christmas Eve preparations into tomorrow's Christmas Day celebrations, we will be rejoicing in the moment of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Over two millennia ago in a small room in the little town of Bethlehem, Mary and Joseph brought their child, our Saviour, into the world. Over the next three decades or so his life would change all of ours.

So it is not only appropriate, but it should also be obligatory, that we keep those circumstances and that meaning as first and foremost in our hearts and minds these next couple of days.

But the celebration of the Christmas holiday has grown into much more over the years, decades, and centuries. So much is incorporated into our holiday celebrations now: Christmas trees, wreaths, candles, cards, gifts, drinks. Characters such as Santa Clause, Frosty the Snowman, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer have grown into beloved symbols of the Christmas season.

It is just as important for Christians to know and accept that we have nothing to fear from these as it is for secularists to understand that Jesus Christ is the true 'reason for the season.' Every reasonable Christian understands that it is not likely that the baby Jesus was actually born on December 25th, and that in fact he almost certainly was not.

Think Globally, Act Familially

Yesterday I asked the question: "What are you prepared to do?"

Today I will begin with another one: "What are you supposed to do?"

Anyone who read yesterday's post and came away with the impression that "there is no use in caring about the injustice in the world when there is nothing that an individual can do about it" simply missed the point.

There is plenty that you can do about it. You can get active politically in support of folks who are willing to invest American 'blood, sweat, and treasure' in the causes that you feel are important.

This means that you can both vote for these candidates when they become available in elections in which you can participate, and you can write and phone your current elected officials no matter what their track record, letting them know how you feel and what you want them to specifically accomplish.

Heck, if you have the opportunity at all, run for office and become the 'mover and shaker' yourself.

We should always be willing to look both at our own neighborhood and town, but also outside at the region, nation, hemisphere, and world around us for injustice of all types. We should then be willing to get involved in helping to correct those injustices, both as individuals and as a nation.

But while we should place that political pressure on candidates and nations, we need to absolutely ensure that there is one place where we are actually taking action every day: in our homes with our families.

Outside of our relationship with God, there is nothing more important in this life than family. Acting familially means any number of things. First of all, it means actually being there and being involved, and that goes particularly for men.

Decking the Halls

It's that time of year again. Time to transform the Veasey Ranch from the fall decor to the Christmas decorations. This is not an easy transformation, and it is most definitely not a one day project.

First step is the putting away of the fall stuff. Various candles, artificial flowers, window displays, yard displays, nick-knacks, and more need to be gathered up, packed up, and put away.

Next comes the cleanup. A little dusting, wiping, window cleaning and, worst of all, gutter cleaning. Yuck. I have not moved into the 21st century as yet. The Veasey Ranch has not advanced to those 'protected' or 'covered' type gutters. Ours are still exposed, and we are surrounded on all sides by massive trees that dump innumerable leaves onto the yard and into the gutters.

Step one in this particular project is to get the right weather day. I will not do this on a wet, rainy day or on a day that is too cold. I am either a wimp, or a procrastinator looking for an excuse, or both. Unfortunately, today is a nearly perfect weather day, so step one is complete.

Second step involved walking across the street and borrowing my neighbor Nick Zecca's huge ladder. He has one of those enormous extension things that is a bear to maneuver, but that enables me to safely reach the gutters at their highest points. So I trek across and bum the ladder.

And now the fun part, alighting the ladder and getting my hands dirty, pulling all those leaves and muck out of the gutters. It takes about ten moves of the ladder all around the house, and so twice that many trips up and down, over a period of about an hour or so.

Once the gutters are cleaned out, there comes the blowing of the leaves. The old leaf blower comes out, the leaves get blown into manageable piles, and then the concrete walks and patio get a little hosing down for their own cleanup.

Finally, fall has been shoved aside and tucked away, and the actual putting up of the Christmas decorations can begin in earnest. We have our traditional display of bright white 'icicle' lights that string across the top of the front of the house.

Indecent Exposure

You are never going to hear me advocate forced censorship or book burning. I never have, never will.

I leave true censorship to the ultra-liberals who want to support things like the deceptively named and unfair "Fairness Doctrine", a blatant attempt by liberal ideologues to shut down or drastically reduce conservative talk radio.

True conservatives would never go down that road. We believe in a free exchange of ideas, as long as it is done with responsibility. Liberals just want to shut up the opposition.

The debate on the radio issue will be covered here another day. Today it just sets the stage for discussing what is appropriate for our kids to see, and where, when, and how they should be exposed to certain language, images, and ideas.

I truly believe that each of these decisions not only should be made within the sanctity of each home, but also surrender to the fact that this will be the case no matter what type of restrictive legislation anyone attempts to place on media.

If you are a practicing Christian who home schools their child, there are certain things that you are going to teach that child, and certain things that you are going to severely restrict.

Just the same, if you are an ethnic or racial minority, there is TV programming and music that you are going to expose your child to that teaches them an appreciation of their culture. Sometimes that will be to the neglect of teaching them responsibility to and affection for their wider American culture.

If you are an Aryan white supremacist, you are going to expose your kids to other ideas, and not only restrict them from multi-cultural experiences, but teach that these are somehow inherently evil.

As parents, we hold a great deal of sway over our children's education, no matter what they see and learn at school.

Happy Thanksgiving

With everything going on in the world that makes life difficult for us, there remain so many gifts from God for which I am personally thankful on this Thanksgiving Day when we set specific time aside for such reflections.

I am thankful first of all for God Himself and the relationship that He has inspired in me with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and for the blessings of inspiration bestowed on me by the continuous presence of the Holy Spirit.

I am thankful for a tremendously loving, forgiving, understanding, and growing family:

My wonderful wife who provides me love and caring every day and night as the best partner and friend that I could ever want. My daughters who provide me with affection, challenges, and inspiration as they continue to grow and mature in their own lives. My grandchildren who provide me with pure joy, encouragement, and hope for the future.

My dad and brother and their families who provide me with that long term familial base, that loving bond that stretches across time and distance. My further extended family, my wife's family, my co-workers and friends who make life full and its experiences deep, and provide me with perspective.

I am thankful this year for the Philadelphia Phillies and the gift of their World Series title that was so utterly thrilling and enjoyable.

I am thankful for our brave police officers and firefighters who help protect and secure our families and neighborhoods and nation every day. I am thankful for the American troops and all those who fight for freedom around the world in any way that they do so, be it physically or spiritually or ideologically.

For all these people and the relationships that they provide, for all the gifts that the Lord has given me, including the gift of being able to express myself at this website and in other forums, I am forever thankful.

Thank you God, and thank you all. May He bless you all today on Thanksgiving Day and throughout the holy Christmas season.

Turkey Tails

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in America, and at some point in the morning my wife Debbie will awake and unpack our turkey for the traditional dinner.

At some time tomorrow afternoon she is scheduled to slide the nice 17-pound Butterball out of our oven. I'll move into position with the electric carving knife, and peel off nice slices and pieces of white meat. Then I'll flip that bad boy over and go after the dark meat on the bottom.

We will then put the turkey out on our table with some veggies and fixings that will most definitely include mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, spinach, rolls, and gravy. Then we will join my daughter Kelly and her boyfriend Jay in digging in to the annual feast.

Ours will be a relatively small dinner, but there will be many around our town, region, and nation that will be much larger. Families will gather from far and near, taking days off from work, returning from school, going back home for the holiday.

At the vast majority of these dinner tables, the turkey will be the featured attraction. But why? Where did this all start? Why turkey and not roast beef, or pork chops, or spaghetti (no, my South Philly Italian friends, your pasta course does not count.)

Turkey is the main dish at Thanksgiving, what we all look forward to so much on this particular day that we don't have this dinner much, if at all, at other times during the year.

The turkey was a wild bird original to North America, native to the eastern United States and northern Mexico.

Danica Visits Aunt Debbie

Debbie's niece Cheri Harvey (daughter of Deb's sister, Arlene) was over with her man John Shaver for a visit to Matt and Deb's home on Saturday November 8th. They brought along their daughter, Danica, who Aunt Debbie was extremely happy to hang out with during the afternoon.