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| Mike, our Dad, and myself in the late 1960's |
But the calendar year of 2017 was a year of goodbyes for me as well. The biggest goodbye of all was one of the hardest of my life. This was the year that I had to say goodbye to my Dad.
I'm sure that many of you can say something similar to this regarding your own fathers. My Dad, Matthew Joseph Veasey Jr, was my hero. He was also very much a role model and inspiration. But it wasn't always that way.
Many of the memories that I hold from childhood and my teenage years regarding my relationship with my Dad are way too personal to share publicly. The specifics of those memories belong kept between he and I, and a few close family members.
Suffice it to say that I was the test case for challenging my Dad. I have a younger brother, Mike, and I'm fairly certain from conversations that we all had in later years that he would back me up on that fact.
I grew through my teen years and tried to spread my wings away from the control of this tough-guy U.S. Marine and Philadelphia Police boss. It didn't always go smoothly.
But through those difficult years we learned a greater respect for one another. And the fact that I had already softened him up made things a little easier on my brother coming up right behind me. You're welcome, Bro.
As I said, my Dad was a Philly cop, rising through the ranks to retire as a Captain after three decades of service to the community. I took the test at the age of just 18 as well, and passed through all of the preliminaries. Unfortunately for me, this was the one time in the last half-century that the PPD was going through actual layoffs and not hiring anyone new.
Despite taking that test and my father's career choice, I never had some overwhelming urge to become a police officer myself during my 20's. After that early test, I never even considered that line of work.
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| Dad (L) with Mike & I and our families, summer 1993 |
I began to draw closer to my Dad during the decade of the 1980's. He got much more political in his 40's, and recruited me to help out with those efforts. This involved volunteer work on a couple of Philly mayoral races, and his move into the presidency of the Philadelphia Emerald Society, a local Irish organization.
Conversations that we had during those years definitely can be given credit for at least planting seeds of change in me. I was a liberal Democrat to that point in life. He had become much more conservative.
While I disagreed with many of his positions in our discussions, which at times bordered on arguments, he forced me to think and to defend my own thought process.
Over time, I would challenge myself in my worldview, leading to more open-minded self-education on my part. This ultimately led to a wholesale change that was much more in line with his thinking.
I made him a grandfather twice over in those 1980's, and at a young age. This allowed him to enjoy decades with his granddaughters, who he loved unconditionally. He wanted to be called "Grandfather" by them, because he felt it was more regal. Though we busted his chops on that choice of title over the years, the girls embraced it and him, returning his love completely.
That 'busting chops' aspect would become a staple of conversations involving him, my brother, and I during the 1990's. Over the last three decades of his life, those little dining table discussions among the three of us will always remain some of my own life's favorite moments.
Following his retirement in late 1989, our Dad moved down to Florida. He would spend the last quarter-century of his life there, but returned to the Philly area for regular visits. Even though we all eventually gained a greater ability to stay in close touch via access to the Internet and cell phones, he stated "I need hugs", and would make his way up to Philly for a visit.
